Beginning At The End
by retwin
Summary: My answer to the stupidest of the Season four questions and I get my favorite pair together. Sometimes love waits til the end to begin.


Title: Beginning At The End

Author: Sidnea Blackstone

Fandom: Airwolf

Pairing: Stringfellow Hawke and Caitlin

Rating: Adult Only

Disclaimer: I haven't a clue…It was how long ago…But I don't own them…I just play with them.

Summary: My answer to all the freakin' stupid things that happened in the premiere of season four.

Beginning At The End

"Hawke," Caitlin called out as she peeked around the partially opened door to the chopper pilot's cabin. "Ya in here?"

The cabin was dark, not even a fire in the grate to warm the cool mountain air or welcome a guest into its seclusion. Sighing heavily Caitlin pushed the door open further and leaned down to retrieve the box of food from the smooth floor boards at her feet. Shouldering her way in she kicked the door closed behind her and glanced around in surprise at the mess that greeted her.

Stringfellow Hawke was many things, but slothful wasn't one of them. However, the books and cloths scattered haphazardly over the sofa and stairs and dishes filling the sink, a good many of them broken glasses, she noticed, begged to argue that fact. Biting her lip she felt tears prick behind her eyes as her friends pain, a pain of loss she herself was dealing with, twisted her heart.

Shoving books aside she settled the box on the bar and then turned toward the stairs where she found Tet watching her forlornly. His soft whine seemed to say, "He's up here…Help him." String shouldn't have been left alone in this cabin to begin with, but he'd insisted, just like he insisted she and St. John spring him from the hospital not four days after Dom's funeral. Caitlin didn't attend, mainly because Hawke was in a bad way and if Jo could bury Dominic when she knew he wasn't able to attend, well then she didn't want to say good-bye to the man she'd come to love as a father figure with strangers.

Giving the hound a watery smile she squared her shoulders and took a fortifying breath before moving to the stairs and taking her first step up. Unaccountably her stomach roiled with nervous butterflies. Why she had no clue, after all she'd known Hawke for close to two years now. They'd flown together, saved each other and been real good friends, almost family. As close to as two people could get without the same blood in their veins, but these last few weeks he'd been different, like a stranger.

Dominic's death and his own close call with mortality had taken a toll on the man. His crystalline blue eyes these last few days, now weeks seemed to lose their sparkle and his face had lost all pretense of civility. Caitlin could find nothing of the man she'd come to care for during her time with Santini Air. He'd attended Dom's funeral fresh from the hospital and even his brother standing at his side couldn't crack the wall he'd built around himself.

Topping the stairs Caitlin called out again as she searched the loft, "Hawke," sighing with relief when her eyes fell upon him standing in front of the window. Her relief quickly turned to embarrassment as her worried brain took in his state of undress. To her Stringfellow Hawke had always been a handsome, well built man but she'd never before seen quite that amount of naked Hawke.

He stood with his back to her and the light of the moon lighting and contrasting the rugged musculature that graced his lean body. He was beautiful, any woman would think so. Stepping further into the room she called out softly, "String?"

She heard him sigh and watched as his shoulders stooped, "Why're you here?" Caitlin cringed at the flat monotone he used.

"I missed ya, Hawke." She spoke softly as she came to stand beside and slightly behind him, her eyes on the darkness outside the window and the man in front of her.

"You shouldn't be here," he told her gruffly as he lifted the bottle, she hadn't noticed he held, to his lips and drank deeply.

"Where else should I be," her voice was pitched low and she knew he could hear the thread of desperation that had been tangling within her since she heard about the explosion and Dom's death but she couldn't keep it at bay any longer. He didn't answer he just took another long pull on the bottle that glowed amber in the moonlight.

"I couldn't sit in that hanger another minute. Jo said I could keep my job, I don't even know her. With out Dom…Without you I felt all alone, it was unnatural." She focused on Hawke's profile. "When St. John came by asking after you, but the lot of them in to big a hurry to get to the Lair for a mission to actually listen. I figured ta hell with sittin' there pretendin' my heart wasn't busted up. He's worried about ya, Hawke, don't get me wrong, but the world just ain't right anymore. Things is just spun round the wrong way and we lost Dom and we lost Airwolf…Nearly lost you. "

"Yeah, he's worried alright," he spoke derisively. "My track record speaks for its self. Anyone that lasts a year knowing me knows to worry about themselves…I always make it back."

"Well, I've known ya more than a year, more than two, and I'm so worried about ya I'm sick with it."

"I never asked-"

"I know ya didn't Hawke," she lifted her hand and gently stroked his hair over his ear. "I know you never asked me to care and I know you never wanted to care for me, not that I'm sayin' ya do, but we've been pretty close Hawke. Savin' the world and each other tends to do that to people." Caitlin kept up the gentling stroke as she spoke and unconsciously he tilted his head into her hand.

"People I care about die," he spoke so softly, brokenly.

"Dominic didn't die because you loved him Hawke," she smoothed her palm over his stubbled cheek and then turned her fingers to cup his chin angling his face to meet her steady, tearful gaze. "It wasn't your fault. Ya can't push people away like this. Ya can't push me away like this. I care about ya I always have and I can't lose you too. 'Specially when your standin' right here it hurts too much."

The shattered crystal blue eyes that met hers filled with tears and great racking sobs soon bowed his back, finally he let the hurt, pain and grief break free as he slid to the floor. Caitlin went to her knees beside him and gathered him to her side and rocking and murmuring soothing nonsense.

When the storm within him settled she helped him to his feet and into the bed, tucking the blanket around him. It was odd, this Hawke, because usually he was so self possessed, so self reliant that it was easy to forget he was simply a flesh and blood man. Smoothing her fingers through his hair one last time she moved away from the bed, but Hawke grasped her retreating wrist. "Stay," he ordered gruffly.

Caitlin smiled and nodded, "I didn't plan to fly back tonight I'll be down stairs if you need me."

When she moved to pull away his grasp tightened and he repeated, "Stay." Caitlin blinked and then nodded as she toed off her shoes and socks. He let go of her wrist and slid to the other side of the bed, making room for her to lie down. She debated a moment about whether or not to leave her jeans on, but finally decided that they would be uncomfortable.

So, she took a deep breath and slowly unfastened them, sliding them down her legs all the while Hawke's eyes followed her movements and she could feel her skin heat with a blush. Thankfully, it was dark so she knew he wouldn't be able to see.

Folding her jeans she laid them over the back of the chair and moved toward the bed. Hawke lifted the edge of the blanket for her and once she was settled tucked the blanket around her, before turning onto his side with his back to her. "Night," she murmured and then settled onto her side facing the window.

Inhaling deeply she found her lungs filled with Stringfellow Hawke. She'd always loved the way he smelled, clean and natural, like sandalwood and something uniquely him. Sighing she fell into a dreamless sleep.

Caitlin floated up to consciousness gradually and snuggled deeper into the warmth that surrounded her before startling to full alertness when she realized the warmth was due to the very male body cradling hers. Strong arms wrapped around her from behind and held her tight with one hand on her belly and the other on her breast, but the deep, even breathing that tickled her neck assured her that he was asleep. It was still fully dark in the room and clearly only a few hours had passed since she and Hawke laid down.

Caitlin debated whether she should pull away and move downstairs for the rest of the night or remain, but the memory of Hawke asking her to stay and the sorrow she'd witnessed pulled at her heartstrings. Breathing deeply she found herself twining her fingers with those resting on her belly and relaxing herself back into his body as she drifted off to sleep again.

The second time she awoke the sky outside the window was deep grey shot with orange and red and the man behind her was no longer sleeping. He'd moved the hand from her breast and it now cupped her shoulder. Caitlin could feel the tears, she couldn't hear, as they soaked through the heavy denim of her shirt where he pressed his face to her shoulder.

Tears welled up and over her lashes as her own sorrow settled on her heart. Gently she stroked her thumb over the back his hand which she still held. Shifting she put an awkward hand back to cradle his head to her shoulder.

His arms tightened around her and she found her self wrapped in a full body hug as he trapped her legs with his and held her to him. Caitlin shivered at the contrast of his naked legs against hers. She knew he was still completely naked and even though he was aroused she also knew there wasn't anything sexual about the way he was holding her. No, this was more like he was trying to keep her, as though he thought that by holding her so tightly she would never leave him the way so many had done in the past.

Keeping her hold on him with her hands she shifted her legs until they tangled with his tying them in a human knot. She hoped he understood her silent promise not to leave him if she could help it. She felt him heave a heavy sigh and turn his face into her neck. They remained like that as they settled once again into sleeps comforting grasp.

Caitlin jerked awake with Tet's cold, wet canine nose pressed to her cheek. Laughing softly she shoved the dog away and sat up to stretch out her muscles. She was alone in the sun soaked bed. Pushing the blanket off she stood up and ruffled Tet's ears and retrieved her jeans. Smiling she slid them on and reflected on the fact that she hadn't slept so well in days. Even though she'd awakened a couple times her night with Hawke was by far the most restful since the explosion.

The ethereal sound of Hawke's cello drifted up from the lake and she closed her eyes as she remembered the first time she'd heard him play. It was shortly after she'd arrived in Van Nuys and Dom had strung her along with a promise of a 'maybe' job, but Hawke had decided she passed muster and she'd been invited to the cabin for the weekend with them, she'd awakened early and was startled to here the music. When she'd followed the sound down to the lake she'd felt her heart swell.

He played beautifully, with such emotion that it vibrated through her with each haunting note. She'd pretty much been a goner the day she met him in Pope County, but listening to him play for the Eagle she'd signed her heart away for good. Caitlin knew he cared for her, but he had never made a move of a romantic nature. He always treated her like she was a sweet little sister or tomboy chum and over time she'd figured if that was what was on offer she'd take it.

It was hard being the best buddy and watching him romance the beauty of the week, but they never lasted, she did and that was balm enough. At least until three weeks ago when she nearly lost him. She'd been at Hawke's side the whole time he was in the hospital. It had been the worst day of her life, she left Dom grumbling about the cost of fuel that morning for a boarder hop and come home to police tape and emergency vehicles. When they said the pilot had been killed and the other man injured she'd wanted to throw up.

Hawke always piloted when he and Dom went up, especially since Dom was getting older. She felt a ribbon of self loathing every time she remembered the momentary relief she felt at finding out Hawke was still alive.

Combing her fingers through her hair she headed downstairs and was shocked to discover that Hawke had cleaned up a little before he went down to the lake. The broken glasses were no where in sight and the rest of the dishes had been washed. The cloths that had been discarded on the way up the stairs were gone and she guessed he was probably wearing them. The bookshelf was once again neatly arranged and a fire burned in the grate taking the chill off the rest of the room.

The smell of freshly perked coffee emanated from the camp pot sitting at the edge of the hearth with two tin mugs. Caitlin smiled as she filled them and then carried them outside. Standing on the porch she inhaled the crisp mountain air before winding her way down to the pier. She was silent as she watched his fingers manipulate the instrument as the eagle dipped and soared almost as though dancing on the sound.

His cheeks were wet but he played on and Caitlin loved him for it. Most men would never be caught dead playing music for a bird, much less crying, but String was a man's man that had feelings and he wasn't ashamed of it. Sitting the coffee on the railing as the last note drifted away she moved to stand beside him and without conscious thought threaded her fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck.

She was only slightly surprised when he clutched the bow and neck of his cello in one hand and wrapped the other around her waist, leaning his temple against her hip. "I brought coffee," she murmured as she sifted her fingers through his hair. He didn't speak he simply nodded and got to his feet. When he slipped his arm from around her waist she felt bereft, but quickly hid her reaction.

It took a moment to gather his things and then they carried their coffee up to the house. They'd only just stepped onto the porch when Hawke's voice startled her, "Do you wanna take our coffee up to the blind?"

Caitlin smiled remembering the stag they'd watched last time she went up the mountain with Hawke. "Sure," she smiled as she spoke. "I'm gonna get the pot mine is almost gone. No sense rushin' back if we don't gotta."

Hawke smiled and nodded, "Why don't I get some of them cookies you baked when I came home from the hospital."

"Hawke," she cried incredulously. "They have ta be stale after so long."

"It's only been four days," Hawke reminded her. "Just seems like a lifetime."

"Oh, my!" She exclaimed, "You're right it has only been four days…It seems like some other life, don't it?"

He nodded his agreement as she got the coffee and he found the cookies. When the headed out the door he gestured with his free hand and mentioned, "I noticed you brought a Santini chopper."

"Yeah, well," she sighed. "They up and left…All of 'em on a mission and honestly Jo hasn't been interested in flyin' anything but the Lady since she set eyes on her. I'll head back after our coffee and return her."

"You don't have to worry about returning her," String said as he turned in the path to grasp her elbow and help her over a tree stump in the path. Caitlin smiled, it didn't matter how many times Hawke brought her up here he always stopped and helped her over the warn down stump. "I own that chopper and part of the Steerman."

"Well, then I saved ya a trip to pick her up then didn't I?"

"Not sure I would have been picking her up," he frowned as he held a branch out of the way for her. "Last night, I'd just about decided to forget about everything outside this place."

Caitlin felt her heart tug and she frowned at him as she passed, "Then its just as well I foiled that evil plot then ain't it?"

Hawke smiled and met her gaze with a sparkle in his, "Didn't say it was foiled, but maybe I decided there was a thing or two I needed to include in my plan."

"Stringfellow Hawke I had better have been one of those things."

"Yeah," he nodded and his features softened. "You're one of those things, but I don't think I should tell ya where you fell on the list. You might get a swelled head."

Caitlin chuckled to herself, she was sure glad Hawke was seeming to feel better. She'd missed the ribbing he and Dom always seemed to heap on her. It was their form of affection she knew, like a couple mother hens dressed as big brothers, that's what they were. "Can't swell my head after Jo and St. John just took to flyin' the lady like ducks to water."

"I still can't believe she was able to hover out of the Lair without smearing herself and the Lady across the stone like a bug on a windshield."

"I know," Caitlin agreed as she gestured with the coffee pot. "They all just seem like they've had some training don't they?"

"I wouldn't put it past the FIRM or the Company, what ever they're calling themselves these days, to have some kind of simulated flight trainer out there somewhere."

"Ya think," she asked as they left the path and entered the blind. "Jo was makin' it sound like ya'd have to be brain dead to not know what's what and all."

"Jo was always like that," Hawke acknowledged as she topped off their coffee mugs and then set the pot on a weathered stump. "She has to know everything and if she doesn't she has to make you think she does."

Caitlin moved to stand beside Hawke to stare out into the wooded area surrounding them and they simply enjoyed the view in silence. She shivered a bit and tightened her arms around herself. Hawke noticed and shifted to stand behind her wrapping his arms around her.

"Better," he asked and she could only nod as her heart rate spiked and her throat clogged with a pleasurable pang at his gesture. He'd always been a man that liked to touch. It was one of the things women loved about him, his compulsive need to stand too close and touch when he spoke. He was the same with her, but he always seemed to throw off the big brother vibes, until today. Swallowing she allowed herself to relax back into Hawke's chest and he rested his chin on her shoulder.

They didn't see any wildlife other than some squirrels foraging for nuts, but she hadn't expected to see anything larger what with the scent of their coffee on the air, but it was a nice peaceable start to the day. When Hawke sighed heavily and replaced his chin with his forehead she leaned her head into his and murmured, "You okay?"

"Yeah," he sighed without moving. "Just thinking."

"Wanna share," she asked as she gave in to the urge to rub her cheek against his soft hair and his arms tightened around her.

"SinJin looks really good…Healthy." He said as he shifted again to look out over her shoulder.

"Yeah," she nodded. "He does."

Hawke was silent for so long after that simple statement that her mind started to work along the path he was most likely to think. It came to her then the sight of his brother in the hallway of the hospital. He was tall and fit, especially for a man supposedly just rescued from a POW camp and his hair had been stylishly cut. Frowning she tightened her arms around his and threaded her fingers through his before she questioned, "You think he wasn't where they say he was?"

"He was there," he qualified, "But I doubt he's been in that camp all these years. Mace got out and I thing St. John did as well. What I can't figure is why he didn't contact me or Dom." Moving away from her he gathered their cups and the rest of the things they brought with them. "It's a bit of a coincidence that the Company merges with the FIRM, Archangel gets reassigned, I find out where SinJin is and then an explosion kills Dominic."

"You think SinJin was working for the Company?" she asked incredulous.

"Yeah, and I think the explosion was meant to get rid of both Dominic and I because the Company wanted Airwolf."

"Then why leave you clues as to where SinJin was being held?"

"That was Michael," Hawke paused on the path and turned toward her. "I think Michael found out SinJin was working for the Company and knew they wouldn't honor the agreement we had. I don't think Michael was reassigned…I think he's dead."

"Dead," her voice pitched high in surprise. "Why would they kill him?"

"Michael knows where all the FIRM bodies are buried and I think that when I took the tape to have it checked out I must have tipped them off he was trying to get the information about SinJin to me."

"Why didn't they try and kill me too," she wondered aloud. "They had to know I would have moved Airwolf if ya'll'd died and people started snooping too close."

"That's what they were hoping for," Hawke said as he mounted the steps to the cabin. "With Dom and I dead they would have started poking around trying to spook you until you went for the Lady, then you most likely would have been dead before you even got her doors open."

"Hawke," she glanced around nervously. "You're scarin' me. Do you think we're still in danger?"

"No," he set the dishes in the sink before pulling her close and meeting her eyes. "I think Michael gave them the location of the Lair. I think he knew it was the only way to save us. They must have tortured him and when he realized what lengths they would go to, he told them what they wanted to know."

"They're supposed to be on the same side as us," she stepped away from him. "We're all supposed to be keeping' America safe not torturing' and killin' our own, and for what? To have a bigger, faster helicopter than the next guy? They aught ta just lay 'em out on the table and measure."

That comment startled a laugh out of Hawke and he pulled her into a brief hug, "Come on," he called as he jogged up the stairs to his loft bedroom. "Let me get you a sweater and then we'll fly back to Van Nuys and get you a few things."

"Why," she asked as she watched him come back down the stairs.

"Just figured you could stay out here for a few days, but if you don't-"

"No, sounds good ta me." She agreed and wondered if it wasn't a tad too quickly, but the smile that settled over his features calmed her fears.

It was a relatively short trip to and from the cabin with barely an hour spent in between packing her bag and they were back at the cabin before the afternoon began to wane. Now she sat on her side of the little row boat with Tet keeping her feet warm and watching the sun set in all it's fiery splendor. She held her pole loosely between her hands and Hawke's sweater keeping the chill at bay.

She loved wearing the heavy cable knit especially because like everything else in his cabin it smelled of him. When she felt the tug on her line she let out an excited hoot and began reeling it in. "That's three for me and none for you," she gloated.

Usually Hawke was the one that seemed to have the magic line, but today he hadn't gotten even a nibble. She watched him shake his head in disbelieve and then sit his pole aside to scoop her catch up with the net. "Three is good don't ya think? And seein' as I caught them you, Mister Stringfellow Hawke have to clean them!" She crowed as she pretended to think, "I think this is one for the history books don't you?"

Hawke just shook his head and smiled at her pleased expression. "I'll clean 'em but I hope you'll do the pan frying after all no one can touch your cooking when it comes to cast iron and a fire pit."

"Are you sweet talkin' me Hawke?" She asked with a bemused expression. "Cause you know I-" She stumbled to a stop when Hawke tilted his head and looked off across the lake just before a familiar star spangled chopper rounded the trees.

Frowning Hawke took hold of the ores and headed them toward the dock, his previously light mood replaced by a dark cloud. St. John and Jo were waiting for them when they arrived back to shore and there was just something about their smiles that put Caitlin off, but she figured her attitude was largely due to the conversation she and Hawke had in the hunting blind that morning. And maybe just a little because this was the first time SinJin made an attempt to see his brother after helping her settle him here four days ago.

"Stringfellow," Jo hugged him with a large smile. Hawke allowed the embrace but didn't try to return it, as he was still carrying the strung trout. When she released him he shifted the fish to his other hand and then grasped his brothers hand in welcome.

"SinJin," he gestured toward the path leading up to the cabin, but his brother just turned to look out over the lake and then turned back with a smile on his face.

"Well, it looks like you did it." St. John gestured at the lake and cabin. "You said after the war you were going to buy your self a nice little place away from the rest of the world and to hell with them. You were so idealistic back then."

"Well," Hawke said as he placed a hand on Caitlin's back and nudged her toward the cabin as he spoke. "I've grown up a bit since then and learned no matter how far you move away from the rest of the world it can still find you."

Caitlin could here the edge of hurt in Hawke's voice but she didn't know how to comfort him, she didn't even know why the two had come. When they reached the cabin she took the fish from Hawke as she joked softly, "I ain't gonna clean 'em I'll safe that for you, but I'll take'm off your hands for a bit."

She was glad to see Hawke's face soften as she mounted the steps. With a slight wave at St. John and Jo she went inside. Tet chose that moment to nose the fish and lick his jowls, "Tet so help me if you lay even a hair on these fish I'm gonna forget all about that steak I promised ya the next time I go shoppin'."

St. John asked incredulously, "You named your dog after a the Tet Offensive it was one of the largest scaled attacks made by the Viet Cong."

"Yeah, but it wasn't the success they thought it would be was it. It threw us, but we adapted, we over came. Sometimes you need a reminder that you can overcome when the odds seem insurmountable."

"You're a surprise little brother," St. John grasped Hawke's shoulder warmly. "I almost can't see the boy I knew all those years ago."

"That boy is long gone," Hawke acknowledged. "You aren't what I expected either. You look fit…Prisoner of War camps must have gotten better since I was last in one."

"Hawke," St. John sighed heavily and it was evident this was a conversation he had hoped to avoid. As though sensing this Jo drew level with the brothers and glared at Hawke.

"I can't believe you would question the good fortune that returned your brother to you." She shook her head and crossed her arms over her chest. "He lived through hell these last few years and finally he's home and you just act-," she shook her head as though in disappointment.

"Hawke's thankful his brother's back and in one piece," Caitlin's voice rose above the other woman's and they all turned to find her in the doorway with a tray loaded with coffee. "It's what he wanted most, but he's right to question that flimsy story. Do you have any idea how many POW camps String's helped liberate?" She placed the tray on the table to the left of the door and moved to stand beside Hawke. "Well do ya," she demanded as she glared at St. John. "I bet you can guess! And how many of those men do ya think looked as well nourished and coiffed as you St. John Hawke?"

They watched as St. John sighed and hung his head, his voice sounded defeated, "I was captured that day, but Mace and I were able to escape about a year later. When I was given the choice to come home or work for Uncle Sam in a clandestine capacity I took it, but there was a hitch, I had to be…" Hawke twisted his lips and his eyes flared at his brother as he finished his sentence. "…Dead. I couldn't tell you or anyone else I was alive."

Hawke's eyes turned glassy with emotion and he spoke vehemently, "I blamed myself, SinJin, I left you there and when I came back you were gone. I did two more tours over there just for the chance to search for you. My whole life up to this point was to find my brother no matter the costs and they've been damned high, but you were worth it…To me I would have given anything to get you back, but you-you walked away…"

Having said his piece he went inside and Caitlin watched him walk up the stairs to his room before turning back to his guests. "Ya'll want some coffee," she asked as she met St. John's eyes.

"Is he going to be okay?" He asked after a moment.

"Hawke," she asked and gave him a sad smile and a slight nod. "He's hurt and honestly I'm thankful Dom didn't know what you'd done. It was hard watching String tear himself up every time the FIRM dropped a breadcrumb in front of him about your whereabouts. Strange how things worked out don't ya think?"

With that she went back inside and started preparing dinner. It wasn't her place to interfere with Hawke and his brother, but man did she feel like bootin' the older Hawke in the backside for the way he done his family. Jo obviously didn't feel St. John'd done anything wrong, but facts were facts and in the grand scheme Jo's opinion didn't mount up to a hill of beans to her.

After peeling and slicing potatoes and onions she set them to soak in a bowl by the sink. Washing the starch from her hands she wiped them dry on a side towel and then headed for the stairs. She'd given String long enough to brood and she wasn't gonna let the past destroy the lighter mood she'd seen in him completely.

She found him in much the same position as last night, in front of the large window, the only contrast was that he was fully clothed. Taking up the same position as the night before she lifted her hand and ran it lightly along his strong back, "You okay?"

"I'm always okay," he sighed. She watched as he turned and sat on the wide window sill, his icy blue eyes burning with anger as he stared across the room over the loft railing. "This isn't a social call."

"Ah, Hawke, maybe-," she moved closer and traced her fingers along his cheek turning his gaze upon her. When their eyes met she saw the raw pain and the certainty in his and didn't try to reassure him any further, she just nodded her understanding.

When he saw she understood he caught her stroking fingers and brushed a kiss over her knuckles. "Stay close," he murmured.

Caitlin shivered at the feel of his lips over her flesh and quietly murmured back, "Like glue," that settled Hawke stood up and the movement brought them so close together they almost touched. She thought she must have misread the flare of heat in String's eyes because within a second he was stepping away from her and heading for the stairs.

When he stopped on the top stair and glanced back to where she stood she saw only the cool detached face of the man she'd met three years ago, he waited for her to join him before he stepped down the stairs. At the foot of the stairs she took in Hawke's silent guests and hoped they had only come for a personal visit, but she knew Hawke was right, they wanted something and it didn't seem to bode well for her friend.

Able to cut the tension in the room with a knife Caitlin pushed past Hawke and retrieved the three large trout she caught earlier, pushing them into String's hands she smiled brightly and said a little too cheerfully, "Don't think I forgot who gets to do the cleanin', Stringfellow Hawke. Now why don't you and St. John go make yourselves useful. Jo can help me in here."

"I thought your undying rule was, 'He who catches the fish doesn't clean them', " St. John asked as he and Hawke moved toward the door again.

"It is," he eyed Caitlin with something akin to pride. "Which is why I'm cleaning these."

"You caught those," Jo asked incredulously.

"Sure did," Caitlin admitted with pride. "O' course usually its me or Dom that-," She caught herself and for a moment sadness entered her countenance, but she'd be damned if she'd dishonor Dom by crying like a baby every time she said his name. Or worse not speakin' of him. "Well," she said a little more subdued than before, but with fondness. "I guess you can say we was the ones with the dirty job every damn time."

"Things haven't changed from when we were growing up then because Stringfellow never had to clean a fish so long as I can remember." Jo smirked as she stepped behind the bar into the cooking area. Looking around in distaste at the rustically equipped kitchen she asked, "Where's the microwave?"

"You obviously have forgotten this is String's house," Caitlin was a bit perturbed about the other woman's obvious distain for the rudimentary set up. "We get on just fine without all the fancy equipment."

"So you live here," Jo asked as she leaned against the counter.

"Just visitin'," Caitlin answered and handed a few salad fixings to the other woman and a knife.

"I didn't see the chopper you took from the hanger," Jo tried to sound as though it was a simple conversation but she failed.

"It's Hawke's," Caitlin informed her icily.

"I know it was just an observation," Jo continued to slice tomatoes while Caitlin did her best to stare a hole in the back of the woman's head.

"And you're just a mild mannered helicopter pilot," Caitlin watched the woman's knife falter for just a moment before she continued slicing the vegetables.

"That's right," she agreed with a falseness that made Caitlin itch to hit her. "Uncle Dom-,"

"Was more than likely killed because you and St. John's employers wanted something Hawke would have handed over if they had asked."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Jo put the knife down and faced off with the angry red haired woman.

"Oh, of course you don't," Caitlin glared at the woman. "I want to know why your both here and I don't want no load of fertilizer you catchin' my drift?"

"I don't," Caitlin moved quickly into the other woman's space cutting off any further words.

"You got nothin' on a broken record," she growled. "I don't care who you work for, what's been done can't be undone, but I will tell you one thing and I hope you hear me loud and clear. I want to know why you're here and I want to know before the shit hit's the fan…Now spill it or so help me close family friend or brother to Stringfellow Hawke you'll both wish you never met me!"

Jo glared at her but she must have seen the truth of that statement in her eyes because she sighed and then spoke, "Okay, but we should wait for Stringfellow and St. John."

"Then start talkin'," String's voice startled both women and he noted that Caitlin looked a little nervous when she met his gaze. He had to admit that he hadn't expected to find the scene he'd walked into, but the way Caitlin had laid it all out on the line for Jo touched him, deep. "Cait and I are tired of all the double speak so this had better be just the facts."

"You're right," St. John nodded at Caitlin and then continued. "The shit is about to hit the fan. We have reason to believe that someone high up in the Company orchestrated my capture in South East Asia and that it most likely had to do with the attack on you and Dom."

"Tell me something I didn't already know," Hawke scowled.

"We think they wanted Airwolf," Jo piped up and Caitlin couldn't help but roll her eyes at the woman.

"We aren't stupid," stated clearly with less than her normal perky demeanor. "Hawke said to tell us something we don't know."

"I think," St. John sighed and met his brother's eyes. "I think that maybe who ever it is may still want you out of the picture, Hawke."

Caitlin could only blink in shocked dismay, "Well," she muttered. "I'd like to say I didn't figure on that, but I guess I knew what was coming."

Hawke stared at his brother thoughtfully for a moment, "Just me," he asked. "Not Caitlin?"

"As far as we can tell they don't perceive her as a threat to the future of the program." Caitlin didn't like the change she saw slowly overtake Hawke as he digested what they'd said.

Narrowing her eyes on him she snapped, "Don't you even say it, Stringfellow Hawke!"

"Pack your things, Cait, get her out of here." He didn't look at her or acknowledge she'd spoken when he stared meaningfully at his brother, "I want you all on that chopper and off this mountain." That being said he turned and left the cabin calling Tet as he took the path into the forest behind the cabin.

Caitlin was so furious that she could spit. Hawke hadn't even said good bye, he just made his decree and stalked off. If St. John thought he was getting her on that chopper by anything less than hook or crook he had another think coming. He must have guessed her feelings because when he finally met her gaze it was full of pity, "Don't make this hard," he advised.

"You don't think this is hard already," she asked. "I'm not leaving him…I can't…I won't…And you lost the right to decide what's best for him when you walked away with nary a backward glance."

"I wish you'd just come with us," he sighed and motioned toward Jo. Caitlin was momentarily confused and then everything went black.

She came to hanging over St. John's shoulder and she desperately wanted to react, but she knew that if she wanted to get the away from them she would need the element of surprise. She listened as St. John gave Jo a dressing down.

"I wanted you to subdue her," he grated. "Not knock her unconscious. You're lucky Hawke wasn't there to see that little stunt."

"You obviously haven't read the FIRM reports on Miss O'Shaunessy," she snapped back.

"You're just angry she got the better of you in the kitchen," St. John laughed. "Cait, here, is a nice addition to the family and my brother obviously cares pretty deeply for her or he wouldn't want her gone."

"I hope were right and it's only him their after," Jo added as she pulled the door to their chopper open. "If she gets hurt because we left her unprotected…"

Caitlin moved quickly snagging St. John's sidearm as he bent to lower her to the floor of the chopper. When he moved away to was to find his weapon pointed straight at his head. "Caitlin," he tried to reason.

"You're just gonna leave him up here alone," she accused. "Alone and waitin' for a hit squad…What kind of brother are you?"

"String can take care of himself," St. John replied.

"Yeah," she nodded as tears filled her eyes. "He can, but that don't mean he will." She shook her head in disbelieve. "It's too much…After Dom he'd just wait here…Let 'em take him…Don't ya see that? He won't let them hurt anyone else because of him." She watched as disbelieve suddenly settle into understanding. "Now you're gonna get in this chopper and you're gonna fly out of here and spread the word that Stringfellow Hawke and his friends are off limits or Airwolf will meet with an untimely decommission."

"It won't work," Jo tried to reason with her.

Caitlin glared at the woman, "You don't think so?" She glanced back at St. John before she spoke. "You know I'm right…If you make the deal you can secure Hawke's peace of mind."

"Deal with the devil," he asked.

"It isn't like it would be the first time for you and Lord knows Hawke did it for you," she pressed.

"You'll both have to promise to stay away from Airwolf and for cover purposes Santini Air." She'd expected as much, but still the thought of never seeing the hanger brought tears to her eyes.

"You got a deal," she nodded and looked past him to Jo. "There's personal things we have at the hanger, we'll want them and you owe us severance pay."

Caitlin waited until the chopper rounded the trees before she made her way back up the path to the house. When they left it moments ago the lower level shone like a beacon with light, but now it was dark, much the same way as it had been the night before. Taking a moment to steady her nerves she simply studied the darkened structure before mounting the steps to the porch and entering Hawke's domain.

She'd barely crossed the threshold when she found herself pinned between Hawke's muscled frame and the hard wood of the door. His hands gripped her upper arms tightly and her toes barely touched the ground as he invaded her personal space. When he spoke, he spoke through gritted teeth, "I told you to pack up and go!"

Caitlin glared at him, her heart was in her throat and she was having a hard time concentrating especially with Hawke's aggressive stance. The last time Hawke had touched her this roughly had been during that whole Horn debacle and then he'd been trying to kill her but he'd still made her heart stutter in her chest with longing. Something about His words freed her from her lustful thoughts and set her teeth on edge as she snapped, "And I told you I wasn't gonna go. You watch my back and I'll watch yours…That the way it is, Stringfellow Hawke!"

"I don't need anyone to watch my back," he ground out as he shook her once and released her so quickly that she nearly lost her balance, but the door behind her saved her dignity. He had stalked away from her deeper into the room, but she called after him because she wasn't backing down.

"That's right because you're gonna take the coward's way out and just sit waiting for death to take you and ta hell with the people that-" Her words were cut off when he whirled back toward her and his palms slapped hard against the door on either side of her head. His face was inches from hers and his voice was almost deadly calm when he spoke.

"I want you out of here," his vehemently spoken words sent shivers down her spine and she felt her eyes dilate and her breathing hitch at the way his body pressed into hers.

"No," she whispered as she searched his gaze and seeing the quickly concealed emotion flicker through his crystalline blue eyes she took a leap of faith, she cupped his face in her hands. His hands found her wrists and held them tight as he growled, "I don't want you here!"

"I-," She whispered leaning in kissing him to punctuate each word, "won't-," but they weren't sweet kisses and far from gentle, "go!"

She felt him snap, not unlike a rubber band stretched too tight, when the wrists he held prisoner were pinned to the door above her head. Hawke stood pressed intimately to her, from thigh to thigh, hip to hip, chest to chest and hot hungry mouth to hot hungry mouth. When Hawke took over the kiss Caitlin's whole body began to tremble. No one had ever kissed her so thoroughly. She was sure he was trying to frighten her with his display of physical dominance, but how could he know she'd dreamed of him like this, predatory.

You didn't work side by side with a warrior like Stringfellow Hawke without coveting the primal instincts that simmered just below the surface. You didn't go home after watching his prowess, his fire and passion in an aerial dogfight without wanting to burn in his flame. So she kissed him back, bite for bite and lick for lick as she shifted restlessly against his ridged body, moaning in the back of her throat for more.

Releasing her wrists he went to work removing her cloths, fumbling with the tiny buttons on her blouse, but when her hands ripped his shirt open raining button's on the floor around them he followed suit and added to the confetti. Hawke didn't stop kissing her, it was as if now that he'd finally begun he wouldn't allow it to end. Toeing off her shoes and letting her fingers rake over his chest making his body shiver as she found the waistband of his jeans and curled her fingers under it as she pulled her mouth from his and gasped, feeling her jeans loosen. Hawke took possession of her mouth as she unzipped his jeans and he shoved hers down her hips. Caitlin wriggled until they fell to her ankles and then kicked them aside as she let her hands glide over Hawke's hips and over his naked ass letting her nails scrape his muscled flesh.

With a growl from Hawke she found herself once again lifted off the floor in one fluid motion and then he was inside her and she threw her head back on a moan of pure pleasure. No man had ever handled her so roughly and she thought she should have been frightened by the anger he displayed in this passionate act, but she wasn't. This was Hawke and she needed him rough and hard inside her.

It was his teeth scraping against her collarbone that did it, she closed her eyes and clawed his shoulders as she came harder than she'd ever imagined possible. Shuttering and gasping for breath as her inner muscles fisted around Hawke she slumped bonelessly and pressed her damp forehead to his sweat slicked shoulder.

It was only then she registered the stillness of his hard body within her and the way all his muscled trembled with restraint. Tracing her lips along his shoulder, collarbone and up his neck to his ear she nuzzled him affectionately. She understood his stillness knew the mood had changed. Flicking her tongue out to taste his sweat she sighed and sipped it from his skin with soft, reverent kisses.

Pressing soft, loving kisses along his cheek she stroked her fingers rhythmically along the nape of his neck. Hawke slowly traced her cheek with gentle fingers as he met her gaze and what she saw there twisted her heartstrings and she brushed his hair from his forehead and bussed a kiss over his left eyebrow.

Hawke tightened his grasp on her and stepped away from the door and without it at her back she wrapped her arms around him for support. Each step he made while inside her was sweet torture and she thought that if she had to die this is the way she wanted to go, him inside her filling all the lonely corners of her heart.

When he reached his bed upstairs he held her tight to him and dropped them clumsily to the mattress with her under him. He kissed her gently and pressed his forehead to hers as he began to move to and fro within her. It felt so good she wanted to close her eyes, but his crystal blue gaze held hers and the way his eyes flared with each thrust he made within her she couldn't look away, much less close her eyes.

Caitlin had, had sex before but, what they were doing was love. It had been love when he took her so forcefully against the door and it was love now as he made slow, deep strokes into her. His restraint was admirable, but she knew it would end soon. Sweat was pouring off of them and his was pooling in her bellybutton. She was close and she knew that even Stringfellow Hawke had limits. Almost as though he'd read her thoughts he picked up the pace and he tilted his hips, lifting her legs higher around his back, startling a cry from her lips.

Still his eyes held hers as he pounded into her, their mouths open and their tongues licking and tasting as she watched his gaze lose focus an instant before she felt the liquid hot release that shot from him, and she came.

They lay spent, boneless, for a time and then Hawke eased away from her and she whimpered at the loss of him inside her. He pulled the blankets down and shifted her limp body until she lay where she had the night before settling beside her. Without words he stripped the torn shirt from her body and then eased down beside her and wrapped his arms around her, one hand on her belly the other over her breast.

"Hawke," she whispered but he shushed her.

"Tomorrow," murmured and nuzzled her neck. "Tomorrow."


End file.
